Category Archives: Simpsons

Chief Wiggum Quotes

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chief-wiggum

  1. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1… 2.
  2. Well let me ask you this: shut up.
  3. Sideshow Bob has no decency.  He called me Chief Piggum. (laughs) Oh wait, I get it, he’s all right.
  4. Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!
  5. How do you like that, it’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purpose of gambling.
  6. All right. Come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says Capricorn, and something with coconut on it!
  7. She didn’t reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police. Now where did I put my badge? Hey, that duck’s got it.
  8. I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
  9. This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a… car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.
  10. Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit.

Ralph Wiggum Quotes

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  1. ralphpasteMe fail English? That’s unpossible.
  2. (To a wolf): Will you be my mommy?  You smell like dead bunnies…
  3. My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
  4. Oh boy! Sleep! That’s when I’m a Viking!
  5. I bent my wookie.
  6. Daddy, I’m scared. Too scared to even wet my pants.
  7. Even my boogers are spicy!
  8. That’s where I saw the leprechaun.  He tells me to burn things
  9. Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!
  10. I’m Idaho.

Homer Quotes

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JAMAICAN10 Homer Quotes I absolutely love. Quotes borrowed from 2Spare.

  1. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
  2. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  3. What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
  4. [Meeting Aliens] Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
  5. Homer no function beer well without.
  6. I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!
  7. ‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?
  8. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
  9. Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
  10. I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?